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Mistress J photographed by Raimund Lavender

Auckland Dominatrix Series
Private Theatre

Leaving behind a university teaching career Mistress J sets off on a personal journey of sexual discovery first serving an apprenticeship as a dominatrix in Auckland, New Zealand and then moving her practice to Melbourne, Australia.

Private Theatre takes the reader into the erotic world of female domination where fetishes and fantasies include slaves, personal submissives, sissy maids, bondage, corporal punishment, erotic restraint and foot worship.

It is a compelling book leading readers to question their own sexual values and assumptions. What takes place in Mistress J's dungeon may not be what you'd expect.

Excerpts from the Introduction of Private Theatre

In many respects, being a dominatrix is like being an actor so, hence, the title Private Theatre. A male client pays a dominatrix to act out his sexual fantasy so it is a private, rather than a public, performance. Female domination is creative, communicative and imaginative – a sophisticated alternative form of sexuality. And it's fun. Those involved in domination/submissive play are free to explore their desires and fantasies which might be taboo in a more conventional sexual arrangement. To be able to do this comfortably, participants need a certain level of sexual awareness, to be comfortable with their own bodies and to be prepared to step outside the boundaries of ordinary sexual behaviour. Domination/submission is not a practice for the insipid or for those weak in imagination.

People have sexual fantasies. Moving them from speculation to reality is when female domination services comes into the equation. Some people will keep their fantasies as fantasies, and, indeed, there are some scenarios that are best left that way, particularly those involving children, animals, harm or damage. It is when clients decide they want to do more than think about their fantasies that they will call a dominatrix.

While some might dismiss domination/submission as deviant behaviour, it is actually a very enlightened approach to exploring power and control. Unlike violent relationships, domination/submission is negotiated. If conducted properly the activities are consensual, safe and sane (terms that have become the mantra of domination/submission) and the participants develop a high level of trust in each other. As a dominatrix I am constantly called upon to use my imagination to create scenarios and fantasies and it is a wonderful opportunity for me to indulge in lateral thinking and to come up with innovative approaches and ideas.

As an increasingly popular form of sexual activity, domination and submission can be regarded as a product of affluence, a demonstration of female equality and an example of the sexual freedom found in the era following readily available birth control. As a commercial dominatrix, I recognise that it is, in fact, the submissive who controls what happens in a session. After all, he is paying me to provide a service.

The mere mention of the terms 'bondage and discipline', 'canes', 'whips' and other words associated with domination generally conjures up stereotypical images for many people. Some of these ideas include kinky men in raincoats, rubber, leather, paddles, screams of pain, or men being shackled to a rack and beaten by a sadistic woman wielding a whip. Such images beg the question: what really happens in the domination room?

As I see it, the major perk of working as a dominatrix is that I am more in control of my work than I have ever been before – I decide on the hours I work, the prices I charge and who I will see as a client. While the shadowy world of female domination is not for everyone, it can offer a good income and independence to unconventional women like me who are willing to pay the social price of not 'being respectable' in exchange for occupation freedom.

Even after four years of working as a dominatrix the learning continues as I develop new skills or hone the established ones. If I stopped enjoying the sessions it would be time hang up the straps and canes because it is the fun, anticipation and participation that makes being a dominatrix such a wonderful vocation. It is the wide variety of clients, sessions, requests and unpredictable income that sums up the world of a dominatrix where the main principle is “The only pattern is that there is no pattern”.

Private Theatre is a personal account of my apprenticeship and my work as a dominatrix. In writing this book my intention is to present an honest, balanced view of my experience as a dominatrix – offering no politically correct compromises and no apologies.

Mistress J